“My mother has refused to leave her abusive marriage of 36 years” – Nigerian lady cries out for help
A Nigerian lady has taken to social media to cry out for help after several pleas to her mother to leave her abusive marriage of 36 years fell on deaf ears.
The lady identified as Nikurai said her father, Mr. Apollos, had been physically abusing his wife before they got married, but her mother pushed ahead with the wedding because she didn’t want to bring dishonor to her family.
According to her, her father has never contributed anything to their upbringing or the running of the home and solely depends on his professor wife.
She recounted how he battered her mother in the presence of her children several times, which led to her having about 7 miscarriages.
Nikurai, who noted that she’s sharing the story without her mother’s permission, pleaded with well-meaning Nigerians to come to her mother’s aid.
In a lengthy Facebook post, she wrote,
“MY NAME IS NIKURAI AND THIS IS MY MOTHERS STORY.
NO, I DO NOT HAVE HER BLESSING OR PERMISSION TO POST IT AND I HOPE SHE CAN FORGIVE ME EVENTUALLY.
I was raised in a missionary – Christian community in the beautiful city of Jos Plateau State, only girl with 3 brothers, to a chartered accountant dad(was working with Jos steel rolling mills and part time lecturing cost accounting) and theologian lecturer mom who is currently eyeing her professorship. The woman too like book lol. Even with her hearing disability due to medical misconduct when she was in secondary school which caused an infection in her ears that took her hearing she was determined, she couldn’t fail especially being that the odds aren’t in her favor. You see, girl child education hasn’t and still isn’t a priority in our society and the fact her father, put his foot down so all his girls got all the education they wanted, she wasn’t going to disappoint him. She went on to be the first female to get a higher education, masters, PhD and now going for her professorship in the entire bokkos LGA. She was established, had her own job and the job came with a house too so she was living a baby girl life and about 2 or so years later she got married…
You see, my family had our ups and downs with a steady dose of beating to pulp of my mom by my dad. Sometimes he’d even use fan belt, break hoes on her body, beat her with cutlasses, his belt, wooden spoon you name it. My father was also a farmer so we had lots of farming tools around the house at his disposal. My earliest memory of witnessing this was one time someone brought pork for my mom – and somehow my dad(who doesn’t eat pork) ate out of it, mom coming into the room with me(i only had two brothers at this point) realizing that, immediately told him to spit it out as it is pork and she knows he doesn’t eat it, next I saw was one heavy blow landing on my mother’s stomach, and then the kicks and beatings ensued, then he stormed out the room leaving her on the ground there wailing, she ended in the hospital and many years later I found she actually had a miscarriage, one of about 7 or 8.
My eldest brother says his earliest memory was when he was just a little over 1yr old, it was dark outside and dad was beating mom senseless per usual and the poor baby unable to rescue his mother ran out on the streets crying for help from passerbys. Mr Apollos Maton has never paid rent, light bill, water bill, medical bill since he married my mom, because before her salary reaches her account, all these bills were deducted.
Mom’s first abuse in the hands of Mr Apollos Maton was the eve of her wedding where apparently one of his younger brothers told him and I’m paraphrasing “wo tomorrow is your wedding technically, you’re husband and wife already go and have sex with her”, he tried but she turned him down so he raped her. She told me this after I had asked her why she didn’t smile in 90% her wedding pictures. I was mortified and I asked why she went ahead with the wedding her response “nobody would’ve married me and it would’ve brought shame to my father’s house”. We wept together and she opened up to me. Oh the abuse were horrific and diabolical to say the least and this is a man who’ll quote the bible better than her the theologian.
My mother is arguably top 5 female theologian in the entire Nigeria but I bet none of you ever heard of her. Dr Yosi Maton, daughter of one of the first Nigerian missionaries from Plateau state, Zakaria Tupshak Termen will later start experiencing job sabotage by her husband who would constantly threaten her, to this day that he’ll go and have them terminate her job if she didn’t behave, he tried severally but thankfully didn’t succeed but I guess this could be a contributing factor. My mother taught and trained a good number of bishops, Rev, governors, senators you name it but this man made sure he stunted her career, go to her colleagues houses and just bad mouth her unprovoked.
We’ve tried severally, family meetings, interventions you name but to this day this man still get mind to still dey threaten momcy with beating – heck sometime in January 2022 shortly after I left my mom on a sick bed to return back to work, she and my immediate older brother were praying in her room, apparently there was some drama Mr Apollos started earlier in the day and one of their prayer items was “Lord, touch his heart and if it is a mental problem Lord, heal his mind”, unknowing to them he was eavesdropping at the door and he just barges in trying to pounce on her, in her very frail state.
Why am I writing this without my mother’s blessing or any of my brothers or anybody at all is because I am too sensitive. It is a blessing and a curse and if my mom isn’t free, I may die untimely”.
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